I’m materialistic. I spend my money on shoes, clothes, jewellery, vehicles, anything that makes me “look better”. In fact, I’ve gone broke trying to appear wealthy. The irony of all of this is I’m only materialistic in the sense that I’m addicted to the idea of items and the image they bring. I’m not really sure if anything material that i’ve bought has ever brought me happiness except for items I gave to others.
When you look around and see people who want to be in your situation and are full of envy but can’t comprehend what it’s like. Another pair of shoes, a faster car or another zero in the bank account isn’t gonna make you feel any better and they don’t really understand it but like, you can’t help but to want more because that’s all you know and you can actually convince yourself into believing that one day it will all amount to something but how could you know any better until you’ve experienced it, but it’s addicting. Deep down you know nothing material is gonna make a difference but fuck it, right?